Due to the last events in the past month I finally decided to take this step. I needed a change as much as I needed to get away, to run from all this so I can find my peace. And maybe I will find it on the streets of Paris… Yes, I got one way ticket to Paris, and I say goodbye to all the things I know forever. I will miss you guys and I will go with nothing but the memories we have together. I will miss my craziness around you and your ways of supporting me over the years, but I am taking you all in my heart along the way, anywhere I will go int his world. I hope you’ll only remember my good parts, as I know I get so crazy sometimes and strong headed, impossible and obsessed of always getting my way, but that’s just the way I am and I know you love me with goods and bad, but please do remember only the good side of me. I know I was not always right but I was just living every moment to the maximum, never thinking about the consequences. After all life is like a poker game, you just need the good cards to be able to play it right.

I knew this day will come, and I chose to do it quickly so I won’t feel he pain of the change I make. I promise to think of you while I am walking in the most romantic city in the world or while I will take my walks in the forest near our place there… there are so many beautiful places there… France is a country where you should never be alone, it is such much romance in the air, in the buildings there, on the streets, in its history… only a breathe and you are in love with that feeling of wishing there was somebody by your side to enjoy the beauty of loving to love…

I was always alone there and I was always sad that I had no one by my side to enjoy the things I saw, the places I visited, everything… And I am going there sad as well but this time that place is just what I need for my sadness… I am one of those that when has a cold eats ice cream… that heals the blues with the romance in the air… It might make no sense but it does for me… I dream of those days when I will read a book in the park behind the Notre-Dame… while pidgins are filling the park around… I love travelling and i wish I will be able to travel the world, for there are so many beautiful places that I need to know, see, discover… I will only miss you but nothing else I leave behind…

Until we meet again…

Chapter V

It’s hurts so much, and I just cannot stop it. I am unable to deal with this feeling like I just lost a part of me. It is sad and hurtful. I made the move to end it as I figure out that it was not just a fling, a desire, a provocation, it was so much more… It was, it is… Love. A feeling that I would have preferred to experience it at it fullest, and not only for a moment. It’s funny, when you feel the taste of love you want more and more, you just can’t get enough, it’s like a drug for which there is no cure. I did the final move and I do not feel any better but a lot worse than before for now I am sure that we’ll never see each other again for this way is the best. There was no future in between, there was only a troubled past. Two twisted minds that once together sparked for a second and that spark made a memory that I, for one, will never end up forgetting it. It was something so beautiful that marked my existence strongly and it will take me forever to understand what happened… I am a strong woman and I get hide and play with emotions as I please… until now. Now I cannot control any part of me, my heart is deaf, my brain is stuck, my body is slow. There is no function in me to work normal. The only change I feel is when for any reason I get to think of him and the rhythm of my heart is so fast that I am afraid it will explode sometimes.

I just want my smile back…