Chapter V

It’s hurts so much, and I just cannot stop it. I am unable to deal with this feeling like I just lost a part of me. It is sad and hurtful. I made the move to end it as I figure out that it was not just a fling, a desire, a provocation, it was so much more… It was, it is… Love. A feeling that I would have preferred to experience it at it fullest, and not only for a moment. It’s funny, when you feel the taste of love you want more and more, you just can’t get enough, it’s like a drug for which there is no cure. I did the final move and I do not feel any better but a lot worse than before for now I am sure that we’ll never see each other again for this way is the best. There was no future in between, there was only a troubled past. Two twisted minds that once together sparked for a second and that spark made a memory that I, for one, will never end up forgetting it. It was something so beautiful that marked my existence strongly and it will take me forever to understand what happened… I am a strong woman and I get hide and play with emotions as I please… until now. Now I cannot control any part of me, my heart is deaf, my brain is stuck, my body is slow. There is no function in me to work normal. The only change I feel is when for any reason I get to think of him and the rhythm of my heart is so fast that I am afraid it will explode sometimes.

I just want my smile back…