Why is it that every time a b-day comes along the people directly implicated become sad?? Is it because, the b-day is a constant reminder of the past year, or the past in general, or is it because it reminds us that the end is closer with one step and sadly unavoidable??? Maybe it’s just that some of us as we grow older, we become more aware of our age, physically and psychologically, one more than the other. Could we be sad just because another year has passed and we still haven’t managed to bring to life the dreams or the projects we had in mind, and which last year we sworn that we would accomplish by b-day??

I believe there is a b-day for each major event of our life, that includes birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, baptisms, first day of school, college, university, first kiss, first love, first sex, even first tooth that fallen. If we think about it, there are a tone of b-days, each very important to us. A b-day could be even the day you visited the first foreign country, or you learned how to swim, or ski or smoke or drink… I could go on forever, but the bottom line is that the essence of B-days is what we make of it. If we choose to have one or ten, it doesn’t really matter, as long as we make them last. Every b-day is a memory that we shall always keep it in our hearts, so even if as years go by, our plans may not always see the light of realistic, we will always have another b-day to plan ahead, for it is in our nature to never give up hopping that one day all will turn out at least OK.

After my recent b-day, and the one of a close girlfriend, I just realized that in time, as we grow up, so do our presents. For example, when you’re 20 you’ll still get stuffed animals and toys, and things that you might never use, while in your late 20′s you’ll get vibrators and closes and perfumes and stuff that you will always enjoy or use.

God knows, I sure do )

So enjoy your b-day everyone, for you may have as many b-days as you wish to!!

There’s no second passing without me thinking at London, it has always been my love city. Every since I was a little girl I imagined, dreamed, fantasized about London town. England has always been my motivation for so many things, such as learning English (by myself – my school didn’t teach it back then), movies, music, culture, history, etc. It has been my fountain of knowledge. Now I just hope to be closer than ever in reaching my dream of walking the streets of London in, of course, a brand new pair of shoes . I do not know, I never did, what is so fascinating about this land that makes me sparkle every time I learn something new about it, or dream of it. Why, out of all, this is my favorite country, even though I’ve never seen it?? Sure, some may say London will disappoint me but so they said about Paris being the city of love, and other than being a beautiful city, very beautiful in some parts, since I haven’t met any romance there, I disagree. As Paris may be for some the kingdom of romance, likewise London is my minefield of love.

Since I was never happy in B-city, and how I already decided to move on, I only find it appropriate to expand my horizon to a westerly sun, close to my dreamland, hopping that the day when all my dreams come true is closer than the sad autumn.

So I say goodbye, once again, to B-city awaiting for our divorce to be finally ended.

It is unfortunate that with all those years passed I would have thought that at least the experience would make me wiser to not go into so much trouble anymore. I had a rough start this year, and somehow I still manage to continue in the same messed up sense of fucking up my life. When I was little I hoped that one day I would fly. I use to dream that I did. And it was such a powerful feeling, it made me think that one day I will rule over this world and maybe even over the universe. I never wished to be Superman though ):)) maybe Superwoman :D. I believe that if anyone would manage to fly one day as human with no wings or funny gadgets to help, that person will definitely rule over all human kind. But those are just dreams I dream to keep my head busy away from the ugly reality I live everyday. Now after all this time, all that I can do is cover my eyes when I am sad and exile myself from pain of any kind.

The problem with me is that I seem to keep a line of the same problems… Years may change, but my problems stay the same, some just change only their content.

It is funny how most of my problems start with “b”: B-city, B-day; B-man…

The town I live in, the years that pass in order to reach that one day which is a constant reminder of the fact that you only get a year plus and maybe some experience that doesn’t help much in some cases, the men in my life that even though they might have different names, they all lead to bad choices when it comes to my own good.

Somewhere on the way I seem to have forgotten all about me, how can one forget itself so bad?? What can I do to find the original version of me once and for all?? Now all I can seem to worry about is represented by nonsenses, ideas and thoughts about stupid people that hunt my days and nights. The only measures I can take in order to escape this living nightmare are those involving winning the lotto so that I could finally go to London town, the Islands, Ireland, New York, Boston, Australia, Africa, Tokyo, and back to Europe for some Mongolia, Russia and maybe even Turkey land in the end.

Once, someone told I should never stop dreaming… to bad he did.

are over and done… It is official, there is nothing that can keep me here anymore. I am done with this city and he is done with me. I am finally convinced that last autumn I took the right and correct decision when I packed my things and left for the love city. After a couple of trips back and fourth I truly believe that there is nothing alive to keep me here anymore. I practically did everything that I wanted to do (or not in some cases) here. Now I am leaving again, and I hope it’s for good this time. I now come to realize that all these trips were meant to make me understand that once the decision was taken was only a matter of time before I would come to my senses and finally take the final steps into the future. My future, my new, brand new future, full of new things, new people, new places, new opportunities, new challenges and also new disappointments, new fights, new trouble. But the bottom line is that I am in for new things. And since it will be a new road ahead, I will be needing a brand new pair which I just purchase (and I love them ).

I am committed to do all the things I love and to never back down from anything that might come in my new future. This time, I will leave nothing not finished, completed or undone.

And I know I said this sentence before, but what better way to start this new future if not with me writing about all the things I’ve never wrote before??

Until a new tomorrow… tat-ah!!