Past, Present and Future
The very best I can do with my life when I reach the point of no return where the past can’t be erased, the present is miserable and the future is darker than a night with no moon and no stars, is… to re-evaluate myself.
Where did I go wrong? Which is the turning point in my life where instead of taking right I took it all so wrong? Is it possible to get back and erase bad mistakes, bad friends, bad jobs, bad food, bad clothes, bad manners, bad everything?
Where is your brain in that moment when the bad judgement takes to bad relationships or even worst, where is the good white angel to help you when you cannot choose the good for you? Do we all need a good someone to guide you through life when we are worthless or powerless to guide ourselves?
If my main mistake is that I am always being myself, who I am supposed to become in order to be happy?
By now it is kind of obvious that I cannot seem to become friends with women, I am either to good or too bad for them, and in a society full of complexes I am too full to put up with another one’s complexes.
It is clear by now that my meaning in life is not to have girlfriends with whom to have beautiful brunches and long shopping sprees. I am far, far away from that. And, although my mentor in life will be the Sex and the City lifestyle, I am sad to admit that I might never have 3 best girlfriends to have fun and share my best and sorrow moments.
I just have not enough material of stupidness to measure up to the complexes of all the girls I’ve met. Either it is that I am smarter, either more beautiful, either more franc, either more direct, either more bold, either I don’t care enough or too much for anything. Either way there is always something or someone over a girl can feel threatened by me or by something in me.
I tried so many years to understand the meaning of a friendship and apparently although I did think it is my fault in most of the cases for being more of a boy sometime, I came to the found conclusion that women do not come as friends, they just come as frenemies. And like the saying: “Keep you friends close, but your enemies closer”, I choose to keep my boys, my family and my love closer and my frenemies as far as humanely possible, since I have enough headaches and migraines from going out with my hair wet, I don’t need any more extra pain.
As much as I wanted a perfect friendship relationship I must admit it is just not worth it.
I can do so much better on my own, as I have my self to blame for every mistake I make and for every wrong step I take. And as I was never a big fan of trying someone else’s shoes, I will stay in mine as they fit perfectly.
As of today I come to find a hole new religion: acquaintance religion. With acquaintances you don’t have to pose or be straight up, you don’t have to care or get blamed for what it goes wrong in their life, you just don’t have to care, period.
Acquaintances are made for brunches and cocktail hours with no emotional package.
And if I am in need for friends, I think there’s nothing better like the old ones, the oldies but the goldies.
I mean, what’s the point of pissing my head off over a crazy dumb ass bitch, when I can just simply enjoy my small bottle beer and my super fun movie instead or catching up with an old friend?
Tell me guys straight up: what would you prefer to have your girls hang out with Dumb Ass Members of The Bitch Club and then have them come over to fill up your heads with shit you just can take just because in their bitch club men are a fucked up species that need to be staked off and under 24H surveillance?
Men – even gay (I always wanted a gay friend) are much better partners to have fun with. With them I don’t have to watch my perfumes, my make up, my clothes or even my accessories, because they never want to borrow, they never want to try. They are not jealous on you for being more anything anytime.
It has been decided and I am no longer in Bitches Club, I choose to stand out and just be ME, with boy friends that enjoy ME just that way I am.
Piss bitches and haters – life is never about you!!