The perfect match

They’ve met each other some time ago, around 16 years ago. He was not that into her so he ignored her politely (imagine that). She was so into him that decided to make him see that they are the perfect match.

Let’s go over the years and let me tell you a little something about what happened to each one of them in these 16 years.

He – got married, got divorce, had a lot of affairs, got rich, got into politics, he lived his bachelor life fully.

She – had no marriage, no kids, some affairs and broken relationships, got a good job, and… (and this might come as a surprise for you – more like a shock – as it was for me): she basically stocked this guy for 16 years, although he continued to ignore her in every way that he could, especially when she got ballistic with crazy text messages, actual stocking, 50 phone calls a day, and so on and so on.

Now, my beloved ones, please make me understand something: How can a human being wast 16 years on someone that for 16 years is refusing any contact what’s so ever with you, and gives clear signs that he will never touch you??????????????

I mean, common, there must be a hospital for you lady, and you should definitely get in as fast as possible, cause maybe this way you will still have the chance of recovering and to live up to the fullest the remaining years that you may have (you are no young woman anymore AND, it is for sure that you don’t have a brain!!) – Get help!!

My sympathy for all the ladies and all the gentlemen who are stocked against their will (there is nice stocking too – but I will get in this chapter some other time :D ).

Peace man!!

My new best friend

Have you ever been in a weird situation where you got into by circumstances and when you try to get out you find that you have no idea how you got there in the first place. (earthquake pause – small one, but still weird) Everybody is OK so let’s move on with my story (at 5 minutes after the earthquake my sister in France knew about it and not from me – thank God for Internet!!).

Well… I was just fine until some time ago when I met a guy, weird and a little retard, just how I like them. All fine, I thought he was cute so let’s move on to the next step (in my philosophy the next step is sex people!).

All good just that the guy started to bubble around about taking it slow (taking what the fuck slow??). And I, like a fair lady. I was open and honest (not really) and I told him that all I want is just sex! Simple as that.

Well… surprise!! The guy starts not to call me anymore… until one Saturday when he calls me out of the blue and asks me if I am having sex in that moment (I told you I like them retards – but this one and that one – no more! too much!).

Next week I call him, thinking that maybe I did something wrong (I do have my way with boys… unique way of getting them off… not in a nice way). It was my intention to find what’s up with him. Is he just defected or this is just his way to say: I’m just not that in too you! (I am writing this waiting for the earthquake replica – how cool is that????)

Anyway, he answers and bang!! another surprise!! He says nothing, he kept me on the phone, barely saying couple words and talking to a woman in this time.

Now that I know that I am OK and that my way with boys it’s just a self defense mechanism against imbeciles and idiots, I can say with an open heart: This is why I don’t WANT or NEED a relationship with anybody!! Men are just so retards that it’s just a waste of time of getting to into them!!!

Oh… and also men are more fucked up than women.

A woman is capable to get out of a depression while a man carries it all his life.

That’s just SAD dude!!

Peace.. out!